These are some amusing stories involving my children. Well, I think they're amusing anyway. I mainly wrote them down because I wanted to remember them, but I thought I'd share them in case others found them entertaining.

Shutter Bug

I was playing in the front yard with my daughter Aurora, then about 4 years old. Apparently my wife thought the scene was cute and homey, and she came out with a camera. Aurora was our first child and so, like many parents I'm sure, we took a lot of pictures of her.

Perhaps she was getting tired of this, because she held up a single finger and said, "You can take one picture of Aurora, and then put it away.".

Waterfall

My son was racing up and down the basement steps. I don't really like him playing down there -- too many things he could hurt himself with -- so I went to check what he was up to. Each trip up the stairs ended in the bathroom. Then he would race back down the stairs.

So I followed him down to the basement to see what he was doing. And discovered that there was water pouring down from the ceiling, and he apparently got great entertainment from watching it pour down and dribble on the floor. Then I checked the bathroom and found out what he was up to. He had apparently discovered that if he filled the bathtub, and then poured bucketfulls of water on the floor long enough, eventually it started to leak through the floor into the basement, creating that fun waterfall effect.

Ulterior Motive

One day I took my daughter with me to a department store on some errand. As we walked in the door we passed shelves full of candy, and she asked me to buy her some. "No," I said, "We have plenty of deserts at home."

Then we went into a series of "what's that" questions. Every unusual item we passed, I had to explain to her what it was and what it was for. It had been a long day and I was tiring out fast, so I started just saying "I don't know" or "I'll tell you later".

Finally she said, "Daddy, do you know why I keep asking you What's that?"

"No," I replied, "Why?"

"Because you won't buy me any candy," she explained.

Science Lesson

We home school, and teaching science fell to me. During one early astronomy lesson, I explained that days are shorter in winter.

My daughter was pleased to hear this. "That's nice," she said. "Then you don't have to wait so long for Christmas."

(Yes, she intended it as a joke.)

© 1997 by Jay Johansen

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